Potpourri...

Well hello everyone! Long time no see. I thought maybe I'd make a post so that people know I'm still alive and doin' my thing. I got a few emails concerned that I had given up and I want everyone to know that that is not the case. In fact just the opposite. I've been trying to really kick it into gear. The problem I've been having is still the sleep and it's just been hard to concentrate and I haven't felt like posting much.

Let's recap what's been going on since we last spoke...Well it's pretty much the same. I'm still working on trying to get my sleeping habits back to normal. I'm waiting to speak with a specialist about sleep disorders. In the mean time I'm going to have to tell my Dr that the last RX he gave me is just not regulating my sleep and I'm still getting 2 or so hours a night and then crashing for a day every 3 or 4 days.

On the good side I did start water cardio with my trainer and have tried a couple of times on my own and I like it quite a bit. We've decided to make our saturday workout a water day and I've tried to get into the pool at least 1 or 2 times a week outside of that.

Also, I'm going to measure and weigh in at the end of next week, for those of you who keep up on that with me. Probably Thursday or Friday depending when I can get all the numbers together for you...that should be fun ;0)

That's about it.

In other news. A long time ago I was really into Photography. Did it for a living for a while but got a little burned out. (I know...I know..."how many hobbies does this guy have...writing lame stories, making puppets, photography?") anyhoo, I used to have a really nice camera which for financial reasons I had to pawn a long while back...Don't worry it's not all that bad...I kept up with paying the interest on the loan and just the other day I was finally able to pay off the original loan and I got my camera back! For those of you 'in the know', it's a Canon 1v...the last pro 35mm film camera they made but it's super sweet and kicks alllll sorts of hind end! Wha-hoo! *Doin' a dance....shak'ah shak'ah!!* This whole blog thing has really got my creative juices flowing and I want to create...I still plan to do the podcast as soon as I start to show a steady loss (so I have something to talk about) and I still plan to get my next puppet started sometime soon and now that I have my camera back I want to start photographing local bands again. I dug up a few samples of my work for you to look at. You're welcome to let me know what you think.



Bob's Child


Brian Rogers


ALTA



I also thought I'd show you a short clip of my friend Justin Farren playing at a show I went to last weekend. Great show and great folks...I can't wait for the next one!






That's it for now...I'm drowsey but somehow wired at the same time. I'm gonna try to close my eyes and see if anything comes of it. I just hope that closet stays closed until I'm really asleep this time. I do not want to go through that again...'shivers'...

Part 2 of "It came from the closet..."

hmmm...so where was I? Oh that's right! Closet door slowly opening, arm hair standing on end and the only thing between me and certain doom was a lazy-eye'd sheep named Allen. (what? I didn't name him...talk with his mother)

So there we were...Allen and me. The other 73 sheep having taken the coward's rout, ducking back into their wall hole. Come to think of it It was about then that I wish I had had the foresight to dig my own wall hole...you know, for just this type of occasion. But here I was...holeless standing behind a, possibly, imaginary sheep who didn't have the sense to abandon me like his brothers and sisters.

The door creeked as it continued to open. I thought I was going to pass out...I looked down at my feet. Allen had beat me to the punch. Bless his heart...he was all spralled out on the floor...tongue hanging out one eye closed and the lazy one still looking at the lamp.

Just then I looked up and a hand reached around the closet door gripping it in such a way as to get more leverage. It was dark but my eyes were acustomed to the light being completely dialated with fear by this point. I could make out that the hand was really big and covered with what appeared to be moles with coarse hairs protruding from them. The nails were long and jagged like something with bad teath had been chewing on them and the hand left a greasy smudge on the door as it continued to slowly push it open.

By this point my fear had surpassed my curiosity and I turned to run. Little did I know, Allen had somehow wrapped his legs around mine in terror before he passed out so I was not only tangled up in sheep but my leg had fallen asleep. (oh and yes I get the irony in that) Needless to say I fell. I must have wacked my head pretty good too because I had a good sized lump and a whopper of a headache!

The moment I got my bearings back I turned my attention back to the closet. There was nothing there... I quickly got up and rushed for the light switch. I was all alone...no sheep, no monster in the closet...nothing. Had I imagined it. No I couldn't have... Why else would I have this horrible headache and this lump on my head. I know what I saw...It was so real. By this time I had calmed down enough to at least go look in the closet. As I approached the closet door I saw it... "how could I have missed it?" I closed and rubbed my eyes just in case I was seeing things but when I opened them...there it was. As Plain as day..the huge greasy hand print. The arm hairs started to stand up again as I grabbed a near by baseball bat and flung open the closet door!! I jabbed the bat into the closet and swung it madly around hitting everything but my intended target. The closet was empty. Except for the normal closet things...coats, shoes and my trusty toboggan! As I stepped further in, just to make sure, my foot came to rest on something that sounded like paper. When I bent over to pick it up I found that it was a note scribbled out on a greasy piece of paper bag like material.

the note read...

Hello,

Do not be afraid. I am here to help. For months now I have waited quietly, each night, in your closet. I have waited patiently and quietly waiting for the perfect moment to begin my work but that moment has never come. You never sleep...and, you see, that makes it very hard for me to do my job. Tonight was a mistake. Until now I have worked in complete obscurity. No one has seen me. You almost saw me and that would have been a very bad thing. Even writing this note to you now may set in motion events that I may not be able to control. I must remember to be much more careful in the future. There's no telling what they would do if you ever had proof I exsisted. But I worry about you and I want to help you...but you never sleep. You've worked so hard and have come so far. It would be a shame for all your hard work not to pay off...it's just...you never sleep. I can't come to you if you don't sleep. so...sleep...

yours truly,
The Fat Fairy

Now. I know what you're saying. There's no such thing as a Fat Fairy. But that's just it. They don't want us to know about it but have you ever noticed how everyone always tells you to get plenty of sleep when you're trying to lose weight? Well...that has to come from somewhere. Who's to say that there's not a fat fairy? They got a tooth fairy and no one seems to question that? What if there's a fat little fairy with flappy little wings and a bucket that goes around to all the good hard working dieters at night and, while they sleep, he performs his magic lipo suction and then leaves a nickle under your pillow? All I'm saying is that it would explain a lot. I haven't slept in months and the slow fat loss. Oh and if that's not enough proof for you...I have one more bit of evidence. It seems that when I tripped and fell I knocked over my camera and it seems to have shot a frame of whatever was in my room that night. I know I didn't take it and no one else uses my camera so I can only assume that this is the only known picture of the Fat Fairy on record... It's not for the faint of heart so look if you think you can handle it...
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Fat Fairy? You be the judge



Now...remember. This is between you and me so don't go leaking the info. There's no telling what Might happen if he catches wind of this blog post. Even if he's not what he says he is...I don't want whatever's living in my closet to be mad at me...or you...

'Thump'..."Whazzat?"

...so, there I was. Lying there, like so many nights that had already passed. I was tired...sooo soooo tired but sadly, sleep was not on the agenda that night. ...again.

I had just finnished counting sheep. Not that I believe in that old technique, my room was crawling with them. I'm not sure if they were a manifestation of narcoleptic hallucinations cemented in my mind by the sleep prescription cocktail which was, at that moment, doing it's level best to sneak the sandman in the back door to do his dirty work while I was distracted by the sheep...or were they getting in through the large hole in the floor board near the closet door. I've tried patching it up with duct tape and calking compound but the little buggers keep slipping through. 74 at last count. It's no wonder I don't sleep. Do you have any idea what kind of racket 74 sheep make in a small room?
Oh yeah...note to self. Let the sleeping pills know that the back door sticks a little when it's humid...he ahd the sandman should try a window.

But enough rambling. I had just corraled the last of those pesky ewes when I head a sound from the closet.

I was startled but I managed to squeek out a feeble, "hello?" You know, the kind where you want to know what just made that noise but you'd just as rather, whatever it is, not hear you at all and never make that sound again so you can just believe that you it was a figment of your sleep deprived senses...you know, that kind of hello...

I waited....nothing. I waited longer...nothing. Then, suddenly, there it was again!! "Hello!" I yelled it out this time! "Hello!!" still no answer...but I knew...and to confirm it the sheep had all stopped grazing on the carpet and were no looking directly at the closet door. Even that grey sheep with the lazy eye...well he was looking at the closet and at the lamp in the corner but it was all the proof I needed to confirm that I had not imagined the sound. I mean..if 74, possibly 'real' sheep are staring at a closet door and a lamp..well...what more evidence need you have?

"I'll give you one more chance!", I blurted, "or I'm coming in...

I stepped back. (I may be tired but I'm not stupid)

Just then...the door knob started to turn... I stepped behind the grey one with the lazy eye... I figured that with his less than perfect visual acuity he might accidentally stagger twoard 'whatever' was coming out of the closet and give me my best shot of getting away unscathed. Slowly the knob turned...then 'click'...we all heald our breath... The door slowly creeeeeeked open...73 sheep all took a step backward...1 stepped closer to the lamp (Damn bad call!)...the hair on my rams was standing on end and it took everything I had to not shove that poor little grey sheep toward the closet and run for cover. The door continued to slowly open...seconds seemed like an eternity and then....from behind the door...

(To Be Continued)

Ha...sorry folks! You'll have to tune in for the next installment in a day or two. I promise it will be worth it. I think I've found the reason for my slow fat loss but you'll have to wait for the rest of the story to find out.

In other news. The foot is feeling better. I was able to get in 1 hour on the treadmill a couple of days ago. I'm going to try to do that a couple of days a week. I would rather increase the intensity but that causes too much pain so I'll have to settle for quantity instead of quality for now.


Oh so hey! This is my gym!

I thought I'd throw in a picture of my gym for the heck of it. I know, given my posting lately, it sounds ambitious but I want to start posting more regularly and with more random photos to make it more interesting. For the time I'll weigh in once a month so In a little less than 2 weeks we'll see more measurements and scale numbers and I've decided that I'm going to hold off on any podcasts until I get under 500lbs and feel that I can consistantly weigh myself with accuracy. I wantthe podcasts to be a good experience for everyone and I feel like I'd do a better job If I had some serious loss to discuss first.

So those are my plans...That and trying to get to the bottom of my sleep issues. Thanks again for those who are sticking this out with me. Things are moving slowly but they are moving!!

Music to my ears...

Well, yesterday Blogger seemed to be having server trouble so no posting for me... :0(

But! Today is a new day and we're up and running! Yay us!

So...music education. I've mentioned how important music is in my life and how I started a music education program with couple of friends a couple of years ago. Well it's not all glitz and glamour but yesterday was one of those days that makes you really appreciate the cool stuff we get to do. One of the things we do for our students is invite local musicians into the class room to share their music and experiences with the students. Yesterday my partner Clay arranged for local musician Amber Padget from the band "spider silk dresses" to play for one of our classes and I got to go hang out and watch our work in action.


Amber Padget

Amber with the class


I want to thank Amber for coming out and doing this for us. It was a great day. Amber was fantastic and the students were attentive and had several good questions for Amber about how she got started playing music and what her music meant to her. I've always thought that it's important to have musicians play for the students so that they can see the practical application of the skill they are learning.

Hellooooo nurse!

Hey Ho Blogger fans! Your friendly neighborhood insomniac here trying to come up with something to write... hmmm.... well you'll be happy to know that I finally did a little shopping and got some marinade to make my chicken much better. I cooked a little up for my brother and myself tonight, threw in some pasta and a nich spinach salad with little tiny tomatoes and, if I do say so myself, it was quite good!

I know, I know...nothing original but for one who doesn't cook much it's a good start. Now I have to break out the wonderful Cookbook Talena sent to me and I'll be in business.

what else? Well...I've been resting my foot as much as possible which means little to no Cardio. I've tried the stationary bikes but because of my gut I can't quite pedal yet. But I think that soon that may be an alternative to the treadmill. If the pool is quiet enough my trainer said that he would show me some pool exercises that I can do to het my heart rate up and if that works I may try that once a week as well. I really hope this foot gets better soon so I can work out at the intensity I know I need to in order to get the most benefit. And then once I loose a bulk of weight and I can use the other tools available to me my foot can go right back to hurting if it wants...I just want like 2 months of pain free time to get on track. Well..regardless..it goes on. I'm still waiting back on news about further testing or refferrals to the appropriate departments but my behavioral specialist did call me today to get up to speed on what I discussed with my Dr so at least they're on the same page. Oddly enough It would be a huge relief to find out that I'm right. Then I would know where all this fatigue has been coming from for years and why I'm always on the verge of sleep. With the right treatment things could really be much different for me. I'd like to be able to take a long road trip and not worry about falling asleep behind the wheel and killing myself and others. Maybe I can finally go visit my brother in LA again and stop making excuses or putting it off.

Being less tired will also allow me to be more active which will help me maintain the weight loss I am able to achieve. It could have also prevented some of the weight gain...but let's not live in the past.

Ok...enough of that for now. I feel like a broken record.

Tomorrow I hope to have something new to write about. I'll put my mind on it all day and see what I come up with.

G'night all... *

A little more info...

I've been racking my brain looking for the silver lining in all of this. I started this blog as a positive force and with all that's been going on with my health I sort of lost that along the way. Here's what I think...My whole goal was to lose weight and improve my overall health. I guess that getting to the bottom of why I've been experiencing this serious fatigue all these years is just a part of that quest. Of course I'm tired all the time and I can't focus on my daily routine and I know that my lack of sleep is not helping my weight loss but if this is what it's going to take for me to sit my doctors down and make them take me seriously then so be it. Then we can finally get to the bottom of it all and I get the proper treatment for each of my conditions instead of lumping everything under obesity and diabetes and hoping that they all just work out.

I saw my Internist again today and he seemed to finally listen to all my symptoms. He changed my sleeping medication and he referred me back to my behavioral medicine specialist to discuss a referral to a psychiatrist who is the most qualified to diagnose and treat Sleeping disorders. He even finally mentioned that he was not to up to date on the treatment of sleeping disorders (which to me explains why he seemed to never really acknowledge it when I mentioned my sleep attacks before). I think he hears me now.

So there's my silver lining and I plan to keep plugging along. I just have a few more factors to add to the drama of it all. Looks like it's gonna be more exciting than I had planned. yay for me... ;0)

And for those of you not familliar with NARCOLEPSY I coppied some facts for you. When I read it it was almost like some one took it all right out of my head. Now keep in mind I haven't been diagnosed by any means but I experience all of these symptoms and have for a couple of years now. I always thought it was caused by my weight and thought that I was just fat and lazy. Anyway...here you go...fun stuff huh?

http://www.narcolepsynetwork.org/faq.php

1. QUESTION: What is narcolepsy?
ANSWER: Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder of neurological origin, characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness. It can begin at any age and continues throughout life. It frequently becomes noticeable during the teens or early twenties but it can also appear later in life. Predisposition to it seems to be hereditary. It is believed to affect approximately 1:1,000 people of both sexes and all races. It is not degenerative; people with narcolepsy can expect to live a normal life span.

2. QUESTION: What are the symptoms? ANSWER: There are four primary symptoms:
[1] Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS) includes daytime sleep attacks, which may occur with or without warning (and for many are irresistible); persistent drowsiness, which may continue for prolonged periods of time; and "microsleeps", or fleeting moments of sleep intruding into the waking state.
[2] Cataplexy (the other hallmark symptom of narcolepsy) is a sudden loss of voluntary muscle control, usually triggered by emotions such as laughter, surprise, fear or anger. It occurs more frequently during times of stress or fatigue. The cataplectic attack may involve only a slight feeling of weakness and limp muscles (such as sagging facial muscles, a nodding head, buckling knees, loss of arm strength, 'garbled’ speech); but it may also result in immediate total body collapse, during which the person may appear unconscious, but remains awake and alert. These attacks may last from a few seconds up to thirty minutes.
The two other symptoms are [3] hypnagogic hallucinations - vivid, realistic, often frightening dreams; and [4] sleep paralysis, or a temporary inability to move. Either one of these can occur during the process of going to sleep or waking up, while the brain is partially asleep and partially awake.

3. QUESTION: Are there other symptoms?
ANSWER: The following secondary or auxiliary symptoms may appear:
[1] Automatic behavior, the performance of a routine task, without conscious awareness of doing it, and often without later memory of it;
[2] Disrupted nighttime sleep, involving multiple arousals.
Other difficulties may be caused by the primary symptoms, appear as side effects of medication, or result from one's continuing struggle to cope. Feelings of intense fatigue and continual lack of energy are often reported, and depression is also common. The ability to concentrate and memorize may become more difficult. Vision (focusing) problems, eating 'binges', weak limbs, and difficulties in handling alcohol may also occur.

4. QUESTION: How are these symptoms all related to narcolepsy?
ANSWER: Narcolepsy is related to REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, the dreaming portion of sleep. As a protection against acting out dreams, the muscles become immobile or "paralyzed”. For the normal person, a sleep period first progresses for about 90 minutes of non-REM sleep and then REM sleep begins. But for a person with narcolepsy, sleep begins almost immediately with REM sleep. Since the brain may not be totally asleep when dreaming begins, the dream is sometimes experienced far more vividly and is thought of as a hallucination. After waking, REM periods, or fragments of REM, occur inappropriately throughout the day. This explains excessive daytime sleepiness. Cataplexy is related to the muscle "paralysis" of REM. When automatic behavior occurs, sleep has partially overtaken the brain, but the body continues to perform familiar tasks.

5. QUESTION: Is narcolepsy a psychological or mental disorder?
ANSWER: Narcolepsy is a neurological disorder. Medical researchers have recently identified the cause as the absence of a neurotransmitter, normally present in the hypothalamus region of the brain, which produces the hypocretin peptide essential to the human sleep-wake cycle. Nevertheless, psychological problems can develop from misunderstanding of and difficulty in coping with the symptoms. A very difficult fact to understand for one with narcolepsy and those around him or her, is that sleepiness and sleep attacks are uncontrollable. Failure to accept this may seriously influence self-esteem or personal relationships. Health care counseling for persons and families with narcolepsy can help alleviate these secondary problems. Educating the public, especially school, health, and human resource personnel can help lessen or prevent many other problems.

6. QUESTION: Does narcolepsy affect learning?
ANSWER: Although narcolepsy does not directly affect one's intelligence, learning and education cannot help but be affected by the symptoms. Study, concentration, memory, and attention span may be periodically impaired by sleep. Children with narcolepsy should be identified at the earliest possible age to avoid lowered self-esteem and a pattern of failure adjustments in learning habits may be continually necessary. This can be accomplished with the cooperation of school personnel.

7. QUESTION: Is cataplexy dangerous?
ANSWER: Mild cataplexy, while perhaps embarrassing, is not dangerous. One can often find support for weakened head, neck, or arm muscles, so that others may not even be aware of the momentary loss of control. However, severe cataplexy, resulting in immediate and sudden body collapse, can be dangerous. Companions should be told in advance what to expect and how to help. They should always check for the person's safety and comfort immediately relieving any unnatural bending of limbs or unusual body positions, assuring complete relaxation, and then allowing him or her to recover spontaneously. Cataplexy for others can be so instantaneous that there is no time to prepare for safety and serious injury can occur. Some deaths and near-deaths have been reported. Obviously, potentially life-threatening situations should be avoided unless cataplexy is controlled.

8. QUESTION: How is a diagnosis of narcolepsy determined?
ANSWER: Excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS) is often the first symptom to appear, and for some, the ONLY symptom of narcolepsy. However, it is also a symptom of various other medical conditions. Cataplexy, on the other hand, is almost unique to narcolepsy. The combination of EDS and cataplexy allow clinical diagnosis of narcolepsy, but the presence of cataplexy is not required for a diagnosis of narcolepsy.
In most cases, laboratory tests are still needed to confirm diagnosis and determine a treatment plan. The usual procedure includes an overnight polysomnogram (PSG) at a sleep disorders center to determine the presence of EDS and perhaps other underlying causes of this symptom. This is followed by the Multiple Sleep Latency Test (MSLT) which measures sleep onset and how quickly REM sleep occurs. The MSLT is the most widely accepted diagnostic test for narcolepsy.
Finally, a genetic blood test has been developed which measures certain antigens often found in people who have a predisposition to narcolepsy. Positive results suggest but do not prove narcolepsy. This test is sometimes used when the diagnosis is in question.

9. QUESTION: How is narcolepsy treated?
ANSWER: The goal is to increase daytime alertness and to lessen recurring cataplexy, using minimal medication. Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS) and cataplexy are treated separately. Traditionally, central nervous system stimulants (e.g. Ritalin, Dexedrine) have been used for EDS. In 1999, Provigil (modafinil) was approved as the first non-amphetamine wake-promoting drug for EDS. Tricyclic antidepressants and serotonin reuptake inhibitors (e.g. Vivactil, Tofranil) have been used for cataplexy and REM symptoms. A new drug, Xyrem (gammahydroxybutyrate) is being studied in FDA clinical trials.* Preliminary results suggest it is both safe and effective for these symptoms.
In addition to drug therapy, 2 or 3 short naps during the day help to control sleepiness and maintain alertness. Proper diet and regular exercise also help. And some report benefits from alternative remedies, such as herbs, phosphates, and acupuncture.
Continuing doctor-patient communication is necessary. Equally important is educating one’s family, friends, teachers, and co-workers about narcolepsy. Joining a support group is recommended.

Insomnia and beyond...

Ok so the insomnia class pretty much gave me information that I already knew or that you fine folks had suggested in your posts. It did however teach me to set my alarm for the same time every morning including days off and to get up no matter how tired I am and to start setting my bed time at 4 hours before my alarm and increase the length of time by 15min over the course of a couple of weeks untill I get the desired amount of sleep. Also I bought a fan to get the air circulating in my room better wich is something I've always had but when I moved into the house we have celing fans and I thought that would be enough but it hasn't been. I have the new fan on right now and already feel a difference.

Now the interesting news. I was speaking with the teacher of the class after it was over and I was telling him about my experience with insomnia and how I was not only getting 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night or every other night but how I was experiencing sleep attacks during the day as well. These episodes last maybe 2 to 3 minutes but happen several times a day. I think I even fell asleep 3 or 4 times during the 1 1/2 hour class. It's been this way for a while...even before I started having trouble sleeping. While I'm moving I'm fine but the moment I stop and sit down for a few moments I enevitably fall asleep...my head starts to nod and my eyes get really heavy and I fall asleep. Usually my snoring wakes me up within a minute or two or I drift in and out for several minutes. It happens almost anywhere...the worst is sitting in my car. While I don't have too much trouble driving because my mind is engaged...I may get tired but I stay allert...but after I park, if I don't get out of the car right away I'm fair game for a little snooze. Movies, parties (even the loud ones...If I sit on a comfy couch it's good night sally) music shows. It's gotten to the point that I can't read because I doze off every few moments and drop the book. Now granted it's worse since I developed insomnia but it's been with me for a couple of years.

And if that weren't worrisome enough on rare occasions when sitting or lying in certain positions I have a certain type of episode that includes paralysis. My head drops forward. I usually bite my tongue and while I'm conscious I can't move for a few moments and it takes all my concentration to lift my head and pull out of it. Like I said these are rare and only occur in very specific situations. Anyway...my point is that the dr who was teaching the class suggested that I might be dealing with Insomnia and Narcolepsy which would explain the constant fatigue I feel and have felt for years.

In any case I plan to try to see my Dr on monday or tuesday and start looking into testing or treatment. I just hope he takes it more seriously this time then when I've mentioned it in the past.

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Today's food:

I woke up late and had to go straight to the gym and all I was able to eat later was my usuall Togo's Turkey Sandwich.
of course water and my evening vitamins

Workout:

Inclined sit-up into a squat w/ knee lift: 3 sets / 12 reps 2x15 reps

Inclined bench press 135lbs: 3 sets 15 reps

steps, One foot on the step and bring the other foot up: 3 sets each leg / 20 reps

Treadmill: 15min

Ok let's get this rolling again...

Hello friends! I know that I've been slacking on this blog and I know this thing is not going to work unless I stick with it and post daily. The last couple of weeks have felt like a wave of set backs from my horrible insomnia to my foot pain and over all lack of interest in posting but I realize that the only way to pull me out of my funk is to plug on through and get back on track. I figure, at least that way I'll still be working toward my goal and I won't be behind when my head quits conspiring against me and lets me get some serious and sustained sleep.

I don't know how much sense that makes..my head is really groggy right now and pretty much all the time anymore. I also seem to be typing with one eye closed...lol wonder what that's all about?.

Later today I have my frist Insomnia class and I really hope that I learn something new because I can't take this anymore. One of my Dr's told me that the class has a 85% success rate so that's promising.

now about the blog...I think I've said this before, recently but I mean it this time...I plan to start posting daily again starting today. I'll let you know about the class and I think My Dr is going to Rx a different medication to help me sleep because the last one made me sleep for nearly 20 hrs and left me really groggy...almost what I imagine being hung over would be...keeping in mind I don't drink and don't know what that feels like...

Anyway...I'll let you know if there are any great revelations with regard to the class. I'm keeping my thumbs crossed...wish me luck.

short note...

Hey everyone! I wanted to thank everyone for the amazing support after my last post. I was feeling really down but you guys picked me right up. My schedule has made it difficult to post but I working on that so that I can get back on track with my daily posts. I will respond to everyone who posted next time I'm on line which seems like it will be tomorrow morning. I'm going to the gym in a moment and then right to an Early labor Day party and don't plan to be home early enough to post tonight...gotta live ya know. Anyway...Thanks again. You have no idea how much your encouragement has helped!

Sean