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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

'Thump'..."Whazzat?"

...so, there I was. Lying there, like so many nights that had already passed. I was tired...sooo soooo tired but sadly, sleep was not on the agenda that night. ...again.

I had just finnished counting sheep. Not that I believe in that old technique, my room was crawling with them. I'm not sure if they were a manifestation of narcoleptic hallucinations cemented in my mind by the sleep prescription cocktail which was, at that moment, doing it's level best to sneak the sandman in the back door to do his dirty work while I was distracted by the sheep...or were they getting in through the large hole in the floor board near the closet door. I've tried patching it up with duct tape and calking compound but the little buggers keep slipping through. 74 at last count. It's no wonder I don't sleep. Do you have any idea what kind of racket 74 sheep make in a small room?
Oh yeah...note to self. Let the sleeping pills know that the back door sticks a little when it's humid...he ahd the sandman should try a window.

But enough rambling. I had just corraled the last of those pesky ewes when I head a sound from the closet.

I was startled but I managed to squeek out a feeble, "hello?" You know, the kind where you want to know what just made that noise but you'd just as rather, whatever it is, not hear you at all and never make that sound again so you can just believe that you it was a figment of your sleep deprived senses...you know, that kind of hello...

I waited....nothing. I waited longer...nothing. Then, suddenly, there it was again!! "Hello!" I yelled it out this time! "Hello!!" still no answer...but I knew...and to confirm it the sheep had all stopped grazing on the carpet and were no looking directly at the closet door. Even that grey sheep with the lazy eye...well he was looking at the closet and at the lamp in the corner but it was all the proof I needed to confirm that I had not imagined the sound. I mean..if 74, possibly 'real' sheep are staring at a closet door and a lamp..well...what more evidence need you have?

"I'll give you one more chance!", I blurted, "or I'm coming in...

I stepped back. (I may be tired but I'm not stupid)

Just then...the door knob started to turn... I stepped behind the grey one with the lazy eye... I figured that with his less than perfect visual acuity he might accidentally stagger twoard 'whatever' was coming out of the closet and give me my best shot of getting away unscathed. Slowly the knob turned...then 'click'...we all heald our breath... The door slowly creeeeeeked open...73 sheep all took a step backward...1 stepped closer to the lamp (Damn bad call!)...the hair on my rams was standing on end and it took everything I had to not shove that poor little grey sheep toward the closet and run for cover. The door continued to slowly open...seconds seemed like an eternity and then....from behind the door...

(To Be Continued)

Ha...sorry folks! You'll have to tune in for the next installment in a day or two. I promise it will be worth it. I think I've found the reason for my slow fat loss but you'll have to wait for the rest of the story to find out.

In other news. The foot is feeling better. I was able to get in 1 hour on the treadmill a couple of days ago. I'm going to try to do that a couple of days a week. I would rather increase the intensity but that causes too much pain so I'll have to settle for quantity instead of quality for now.


Oh so hey! This is my gym!


I thought I'd throw in a picture of my gym for the heck of it. I know, given my posting lately, it sounds ambitious but I want to start posting more regularly and with more random photos to make it more interesting. For the time I'll weigh in once a month so In a little less than 2 weeks we'll see more measurements and scale numbers and I've decided that I'm going to hold off on any podcasts until I get under 500lbs and feel that I can consistantly weigh myself with accuracy. I wantthe podcasts to be a good experience for everyone and I feel like I'd do a better job If I had some serious loss to discuss first.

So those are my plans...That and trying to get to the bottom of my sleep issues. Thanks again for those who are sticking this out with me. Things are moving slowly but they are moving!!

19 Comments:

Blogger Mike Falcone said...

Ya know, when I was younger, I used to have tons of problems getting to sleep. I would just lay in bed and be completely incapable of going to sleep. Soo, I would play movies in my head, try and remember every scene, all the dialogue, all the shots. I think Goonies was one of my favorites. Then I finally realized that it was all the thinking that was keeping me awake. It still happens periodically, I'll be worried about work or money or something, and just be laying in bed totally unable to sleep. Then I remember that I need to get my brain to chill out. My solution? I keep a fan running in my room now. Whenever I can't fall asleep I focuse on listening to the white noise of the fan going, and it fills my brain with the static of a nonexistant tv channel, and that turns my brain off and puts me to sleep. Ha. Best of luck, I'll be reading.

2:45 PM, September 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You tease! I was at the edge of my seat waiting to see what was behind the closet door! Love to see the positive attitude that you have! Keep it up :) KA

5:06 PM, September 20, 2006  
Anonymous leenzii said...

'and from behind the door came ME, butcher knife in hand, screaming "lamb chops for evreeeeey baaaaadddy!!!"'

*lol* looking forward to the end of that story, and the next weigh in!

1:16 AM, September 21, 2006  
Blogger Invader Stu said...

Is it the shepherd looking for his missing sheep?

Love the story and I look forward to reading the next part.

1:28 AM, September 21, 2006  
Blogger evamarie said...

Hi Sean...don't know what it's worth but one of my massage school teachers suggested soaking the feet in hot water before bed to "draw energy" down away from your head. I also have a friend who made a meditation CD and I could burn you a copy. Let me know if you're open to that kind of crunchy stuff and I'll send it your way. xo Eva

6:30 AM, September 21, 2006  
Blogger The EYE said...

i bet the cause of the slow weight loss, per your mentioning... is 2 am mutton sandwiches. theyll get you every time. its true.

so is it the boogey sheep behind the door? thats my guess. i hate the boogey sheep. *shudder* scares the heck out of me. lost me many a nights sleep growing up to the boogey sheep.

too bad boogey mutton tastes bad.


glad the foot is feeling better! keep it up, sean - youre an inspiration like no other. me: still goin, loss of 18 lbs to date. woo hoo! more to go though... cant stop yet!

6:38 AM, September 21, 2006  
Anonymous Chad Blodgett said...

I loved it! Can't wait for the next post. I know tonight I'm going to put my couch in front of my closet! Keep up the hard work and thanks for the great reads.

9:20 AM, September 22, 2006  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Thought you might like to know - there is a man in my Weight Watchers group that hit the 204 mark today - meaning he has lost a total of 204 lbs to date - you can do it, too!!!

3:27 PM, September 23, 2006  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

Whew...I am hoping this is a dream...and I wonder...are you sleepwalking? I have heard of people really walkingaround, watching tv, eating food, talking to people in the middle of their sleep...this would also explain the fatigue you have...

I am glad you are able to have some fun and tease us, but still I worry about you!

The gym looks very nice, great idea to post a photo of it.

7:03 AM, September 24, 2006  
Blogger Carmen San Diego said...

try benadril, I know its for allergies but it also have a sleep aid in it that may help. I take it often when I want to get to sleep and stay asleep.

Hope you are doing well, you haven't posted in a few days.

Carmen

5:41 PM, September 24, 2006  
Blogger Scrapnqueen said...

Hey, Sean! Great post! I'm holding my breath to find out what's coming out of your closet! Well--not really, 'cause I would probably pass out.

I am very, very curious, though!

10:12 PM, September 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sean,
Making us wait almost a week now to get the 'rest of the story' is bordering on mean! Come on! Post already!
Love your blog, but miss the regular updates. Hope it doesn't mean you are letting down in your weight loss quest too?!
Shannon

5:32 AM, September 26, 2006  
Blogger Sean Perkey said...

Mike: Yeah I used to do that too..with movies and with CD's like Graceland..I could sing that forward and backward in my head from start to end! And the fan thing is perfect I do that too...I just got a new fan and it hasn't helped so far but what sleep I do get has been a little more relaxed!
Thanks!

KA: Sorry it took so long, I hate to keep blaming my sleep problems for stalling my blog but what can I do? It'll get better eventually! I hope the rest of the story was worth the wait!

leenzii: YUMMY! just spare poor Allen! I've become quite attatched to him! Next weigh in soon!

Stu: Nope! You'll have to read the rest of the story...it's finally posted!

Eva: That would be great thanks! I'm up for whatever crunchy stuff gets me to sleep! I'll call you this week.. :0)

Eye: How's that beautiful baby doing? and how are the proud mother and father holding up?

Midnight Mutton might just be doing it! LOL You never know!
Congrats on the 18! Keep it up! I'm right here with you!

Chad Blodgett: Thanks Chad! Lol I hope I didn't make you too nervous about your closet! And I hope the conclusion lives up to the hype! Thanks for sticking with me durring this slow posting jag. I don't think it'll be a problem again. stay tuned!

Yvonne: WOW! What an inspiration! Tell that guy "Congrats from me" I know I'll get there eventually!

Cindy: Nope..unfortunalely I'm wide awake...no sleep walking or sleep eating.
I appreciate the concern but I'll be ok...I know it can't last for ever and I'm still commited just took a little break...posting every day is tough. ;0)

Carmen: Benedryl doesn't do it for me. I don't know...I think I may have to just ride this out. I know it can't last for ever so eventually it'll just correct itself. Thanks though !!!! and to answer your question..I'm doing fine...just tired and haven't been able to conentrait on what I want to post...hence the lack of activity here. Hopefully I'm back to posting full time now...I keep saying that but I'm going to give it some extra effort! Thanks for sticking with me!

Scrapnqueen: well I hope the second half lives up to the hype! You can now exahle! ;)

Shannon! sorry about the delay! I Hope it's worth it!

4:53 AM, September 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
:D :D :D

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