Part 2 of "It came from the closet..."

hmmm...so where was I? Oh that's right! Closet door slowly opening, arm hair standing on end and the only thing between me and certain doom was a lazy-eye'd sheep named Allen. (what? I didn't name him...talk with his mother)

So there we were...Allen and me. The other 73 sheep having taken the coward's rout, ducking back into their wall hole. Come to think of it It was about then that I wish I had had the foresight to dig my own wall hole...you know, for just this type of occasion. But here I was...holeless standing behind a, possibly, imaginary sheep who didn't have the sense to abandon me like his brothers and sisters.

The door creeked as it continued to open. I thought I was going to pass out...I looked down at my feet. Allen had beat me to the punch. Bless his heart...he was all spralled out on the floor...tongue hanging out one eye closed and the lazy one still looking at the lamp.

Just then I looked up and a hand reached around the closet door gripping it in such a way as to get more leverage. It was dark but my eyes were acustomed to the light being completely dialated with fear by this point. I could make out that the hand was really big and covered with what appeared to be moles with coarse hairs protruding from them. The nails were long and jagged like something with bad teath had been chewing on them and the hand left a greasy smudge on the door as it continued to slowly push it open.

By this point my fear had surpassed my curiosity and I turned to run. Little did I know, Allen had somehow wrapped his legs around mine in terror before he passed out so I was not only tangled up in sheep but my leg had fallen asleep. (oh and yes I get the irony in that) Needless to say I fell. I must have wacked my head pretty good too because I had a good sized lump and a whopper of a headache!

The moment I got my bearings back I turned my attention back to the closet. There was nothing there... I quickly got up and rushed for the light switch. I was all alone...no sheep, no monster in the closet...nothing. Had I imagined it. No I couldn't have... Why else would I have this horrible headache and this lump on my head. I know what I saw...It was so real. By this time I had calmed down enough to at least go look in the closet. As I approached the closet door I saw it... "how could I have missed it?" I closed and rubbed my eyes just in case I was seeing things but when I opened them...there it was. As Plain as day..the huge greasy hand print. The arm hairs started to stand up again as I grabbed a near by baseball bat and flung open the closet door!! I jabbed the bat into the closet and swung it madly around hitting everything but my intended target. The closet was empty. Except for the normal closet things...coats, shoes and my trusty toboggan! As I stepped further in, just to make sure, my foot came to rest on something that sounded like paper. When I bent over to pick it up I found that it was a note scribbled out on a greasy piece of paper bag like material.

the note read...

Hello,

Do not be afraid. I am here to help. For months now I have waited quietly, each night, in your closet. I have waited patiently and quietly waiting for the perfect moment to begin my work but that moment has never come. You never sleep...and, you see, that makes it very hard for me to do my job. Tonight was a mistake. Until now I have worked in complete obscurity. No one has seen me. You almost saw me and that would have been a very bad thing. Even writing this note to you now may set in motion events that I may not be able to control. I must remember to be much more careful in the future. There's no telling what they would do if you ever had proof I exsisted. But I worry about you and I want to help you...but you never sleep. You've worked so hard and have come so far. It would be a shame for all your hard work not to pay off...it's just...you never sleep. I can't come to you if you don't sleep. so...sleep...

yours truly,
The Fat Fairy

Now. I know what you're saying. There's no such thing as a Fat Fairy. But that's just it. They don't want us to know about it but have you ever noticed how everyone always tells you to get plenty of sleep when you're trying to lose weight? Well...that has to come from somewhere. Who's to say that there's not a fat fairy? They got a tooth fairy and no one seems to question that? What if there's a fat little fairy with flappy little wings and a bucket that goes around to all the good hard working dieters at night and, while they sleep, he performs his magic lipo suction and then leaves a nickle under your pillow? All I'm saying is that it would explain a lot. I haven't slept in months and the slow fat loss. Oh and if that's not enough proof for you...I have one more bit of evidence. It seems that when I tripped and fell I knocked over my camera and it seems to have shot a frame of whatever was in my room that night. I know I didn't take it and no one else uses my camera so I can only assume that this is the only known picture of the Fat Fairy on record... It's not for the faint of heart so look if you think you can handle it...
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Fat Fairy? You be the judge



Now...remember. This is between you and me so don't go leaking the info. There's no telling what Might happen if he catches wind of this blog post. Even if he's not what he says he is...I don't want whatever's living in my closet to be mad at me...or you...