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Monday, July 10, 2006

Frustration and pain...

I don't want folks to worry that I'm becoming discouraged but I am frustrated. Because of my size I guess i was really expecting some dramatic changes right away from working out and dieting. Ok so my clothes fit a little better and my posture is better and I know that i've put on muscle but I honestly don't think the fat is really comming off. And to top it all off my heel has been killing me the last 2 days which has provented me from getting any walking in. I had just decided to push myself to doing at least 1/2 hour of treadmill every day and the moment I made that plan my heel acts up and I can't do what i want.

Just for info's sake I fractured my growth plate in my left ankle when I was 13 and from time to time it hurts for a few days. I know it will eventually go away but at the time when I would really like to push myself I can't so it only serves to magnify the difficulty I'm having with what I expected to be my progress at this point.

Fortunately I can bare the pain enough to get through anything my trainer throws at me during our work out so at least I can do that. And I know someone will suggest it but i'm still too heavy for the stationary bike or the eliptical trainer.

I hate to complain. It's just a minor problem but with the scale troubles and all this...uuuugh! Besides without showing some sort of progress this blog is just me rambling about doing nothing. I just hope everyone will give me a little time to get this all humming like an oiled machine because I promise that I will get to my goal but instead of humming along and then hitting a rough patch I seem to be starting in one...


Blogger Scrapnqueen said...

Hey, Sean!

We weren't expecting overnight progress! It took more than a few months to get to where you are--expect it to take more than a few to get back to where you were!

I can empathize with your frustration. That really does suck. Hope you're up and back to walking soon.

How're the Nature Greens going, by the way?

11:01 PM, July 10, 2006  
Anonymous jason p said...

get a bike man! my ankle's got the gout, so I can barely walk, but I can ride!

11:53 PM, July 10, 2006  
Blogger TH said...

As scrapnqueen said, don't worry about our patience, as long as you have the determination, we'll be here, and if you are about to lose it, we'll be here like never before! Plus, personally, I don't mind reading random ramblings if they are as well written as yours.

And, I think it's best to give your heel the rest it needs - minor injuries are always easier to treat (often rest is all you need) than major ones. Listen to your body - it's not your enemy, even if there's some extra stuff you want to get rid of! :-)

1:58 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger The EYE said...

man, even if half the time your only daily post was telling what you ate and what you did in your workout, id still be reading. and commenting too, for that matter.

we know you're in for the long haul, and i feel fairly confident in speaking for others by saying that we're here for the long haul too.

other than coming here and reading this post, does your trainer know about the pain in your foot? it shouldn't be too hard to come up with an equally effective work out (even considering your size and current (temporary) inability to use elliptical machines and stationary bikes) without needing to put any weight on your foot. there are plenty of exercises that can be done sitting or laying down - whether on the floor or a bench, etc.

6:00 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Robin said...

Sometimes when I'm not getting results I want from my health regimes, I think about the happy cells I'm generating. Our bodies create new cells all the time, some types more than others (I forget the details), but as you've probably heard, w/in a year, supposedly, all the cells in our bodies are new. So instead of garbage-y cells, when we eat healthy, we get juicier, more highly functioning healthier cells. Yum! These results are harder to see and quantify the way medicine usually looks at health, but I believe they are there. Thanks for your tenacity. It's inspiring.

7:00 AM, July 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading your blog - and though I don't have as much weight to lose I am experiencing many of your same struggles. It is easy to get discouraged, to have things go wrong. Keep your head up, and know that everything you are doing is getting you closer to your goal even if it doesn't happen as fast as you'd like. What you are doing is NOT easy. However, there are many readers pulling for you. Keep it up!!

7:17 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger pseudojoe said...


i don't think anyone's expecting anything. we just want you happy and healthy. don't worry about us just keep at it. you can do it, we believe in you.


9:41 AM, July 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sean!
I've been away (summertiiiimmmme and the livins eassssyyyy). I'm just getting caught up on your blog, and have an idea about why you might not be losing weight as quickly as you had expeced.
I have a close relative who is anorexic, and in learning to help her through her illness I've learned a bit about how our bodies use food as energy. Specifically, how our bodies react when they DON'T get food energy. If you're not eating enough calories you don't burn as many calories doing the same exercise. It's like your body goes into survival mode and hoards up energy. And we all know our bodies store energy in the form of fat. I think it's far better for you to be eating the way you are now compared to the way you ate before. However, if you're not eating enough calories your energy levels will drop and you won't be working at your optimum fat burning capacity.

Just a thought.


PS Keep up all the good work (writing, workouts, charity .... )

9:46 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Roy said...

Um, you've got a long ways to go, man. A rocky start is no big deal. The big deal is what is waiting at the end.

Just keep doing what you're doing and it will happen. Moreover, it will happen in a healthy fashion. You've got old habits to break and new ones to install. That takes time.

You'll get there.

9:48 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Chris said...

Sean, How about swimming or walking laps in a pool or water aerobics. there wouldnt be the pressure on various parts of your body. Well anyways best of luck.

10:47 AM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Pelicanna said...

Listen to your cheering section Sean! You're doing great and given time your body will respond. This is an emotional and mental battle as well as a physical one. We're all so proud of you.

12:19 PM, July 11, 2006  
Anonymous Blayne said...

Like Chris said, going with swimming or water arobics is a good way to keep up working out while sparring your joints. I realize you might be a little shy about your body, but don't stress it, everyone looks bad in a bathing suit!

as for the progess, slow weight loss is NORMAL. The healthiest way to lose weight is through a balanced diet with exersize. Fad diets like atkins can help you loose weight quickly, but are next to impossible to maintain in the long run (I'm a nutritionist, I know these things). Keep up the good work. We're all rooting for you

2:30 PM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Invader Stu said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with being frustrated about it. You might not notice the weight coming of straight away but one day you will suddenly notice a lot of it has already gone if you stick with the work out. Just give it time. You're doing great.

3:35 PM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Yvonne said...

I'm with Jill - Your body is in survival mode right now, and as soon as it adjusts to the new caloric intake, the weight will be literally melting off! Make sure you are eating balanced and regularly - hang in there!

"The Eye's Mom"

5:41 PM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Paul Babin said...

you can hit me after I say this . . but you know . . "rome wasn't built in a day." As long as you are staying active and watching your food intake then you are good to go . . and you already got a lot of people tuned into watching how you are doing . . . so I'm here for you as well as many other people here. Plug some music if you got nothing else to say . . like why Bob, Brian or Justin get you groovin' anywise . . take care man . . I'll be coming up in a few weeks . . .I'll make sure to give you call!

11:23 PM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger thehealingroom said...

You have a great cheering section here, Sean.
You're doing the right thing having a blog and putting yourself "out here". This way, we can be your positive voice when your own voice is starting to be discouraged.
I truly admire you.

11:55 PM, July 11, 2006  
Blogger Billy Guilfoyle said...

Here's the deal man, straight and true: You are loved, no matter what! And this is the fact: You can either do all that is within you to lose the weight and be healthy and let lose the great and limitless potential within you that can help the entire world to heal in such a way that there is no more war or famine or whatever it is that you decide to help heal; or you can stay over-weight and not dedicate yourself fully to losing the weight. It is your choice. And one will lead to a heavenly fullfilling experience, the other to a death within the next 20 years. But it's always going to be your conscious choice, and we are always going to love you and support your existence no matter what. That's it, plain and true. That's the gist. Ya dig?

Truly love ya man,


12:56 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Gasolina said...


This is super radical, but how about throwing out the scale! I mean it. Just say no to scales. I did it and you can too. The meter at the top of the blog could be something like "how far I can walk in 1/2 hour", or some kind of "healthiness" scale that you come up with yourself. Think, really think. Do you feel better, stronger, more energitic, clearer of mind, happier of heart, calmer, more confident...? That's what counts, man. It's about being the best you that you can be. Today. Right now.
You're an amazing man, and an inspiration. That's a scale I can get my head around. Keep up the good work! Keep getting healthier.

5:20 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Sean Perkey said...

Scrapnqueen: Yeah I guess you're right I guess I needed to vent. I'm gonna try walking a little today and see how it feels...I'll let everyone konw.
The greens are good. I don't know that I've noticed a huge improvement in any one area but with my insomnia lately I'm out of tune with my body a little. let me get some sleep for a few days and I'll have a better grasp on it.

jason p: that's a good suggestion friend but I've posted about that and at 527 pounds I'm just too heavy for any bike just yet...one day though!

TH: I still can't get over that people realy like how I write. I love that thank you very much! and thanks for the encouragement. Everyone's been so great and it really helps. And I'm listening to my body for sure and it's saying that it's good to rest my foot. I may give it a go Today though..i'll report back!

The eye:
Thanks man! It's nice to know that folks are willing to stick this out with me. i tell you though I expect it to get reall exciting once I can show a serious loss trend. Looking forward to it.

As far as workouts that don't involve standing...yeah no trouble my trainer was right on it and I can stand it's just sustained walking that gives me trouble. I can get comfortable in one position well enough. He kicked my but today though and it felt great to get in there and get the blood flowing!

That's a good way of looking at it. I have been trying to focus on the benefits I know that I'm getting. like I'll go to scratch my arm and notice the extra muscle and that makes me happy. My posture is great and bending over the sink to do dishes doesn't hurt my back anymore...there are plenty of great changes so i'm not too dissapointed I guess I just want some way to show improvement on the site..I suppose that will come soon enough! Thanks for the encouragement and the point of view!

Anonymous: Thanks for your encouragement and I want to wish you good luck on your own endevors! Keep up the good work and we'll get there together!

pseudojoe: Thanks man! I knew I just needed an adjustment in my positive thinking! You guys were right there for me! Thank you for that!

Jill: You are so right and that has been a big topic of conversation for me the last few weeks and I am trying to add some calories. It's all such a balance. I'm sure I'll getthe hand of it soon. Thanks for you input you have the right Idea!

Roy: Yeah I do try to remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. It's a hard thing to remember sometimes but I'm trying to pound it in there! Cheers man thanks !

Chris: also a good Idea...I don't want to make too many excuses but I'm still pretty body conscious and I really don't like undressing in front of others...maybe I could wear a tee shirt..i'll look into it...

Pelicanna: Yeah it's pretty amazing! A fine roup of folks to be sure! I really can't thank everyone enough!

Blayne: I'm still trying to get past my negative body image...maybe I can wear a shirt in the pool...I'll have to ask. I can do a lot but somethings will only come with the weight loss and disrobing in front of others is just not gonna happen right now...not gonna happen.. ;)

You are right about the slow loss though I know deep down that that's right...I'm greedy..lol I can't help it!

Invader Stu: First let me say I love your artwork. I've been to your blog and I really like you style. Second, You're right I know it'll eventually roll off but It's so hard to wait..just have to remember that each workout takes me closer to my goal and without each one I'm one day further away!

Yvonne: Hey "the Eye's Mom" this is so strange I've been getting waves of people's Mother's coming through after their son or daughter has been here for a while. I think that's really cool! Thank you for posting and tell you son that I really appreciate his enthusiastic encouragement!
I like the melting off Idea! I'm looking forward to it Thanks I assure you that I will stick it out and I hope that you continue to check back! It was nice to "meet you"!

Paul Babin: Thanks man and be assured that I will plug the music when I get the chance! you better call me when you get here! we have to hang out a little!

thehealingroom: I think you're right. I never could have imagined the positive response I've gotten but you folks are the best and I do feel a whole lot better thank you all! I assure you my friend the admiration is returned!

Hey Billy! No worries mate...just a little vent. You know I plan to stay the course!
Love ya back billy!

Selina: So enthusiastic! I love that! Thank you..you have some great Ideas there...I just may have to use some. Maybe a link to a page of personal scales like you are talking about...so I can show all aspects of the transformation. I'll put some brain on it and see what I can come up with! Thanks ...I really mean that! You're an inspiration to me as well!

6:31 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger housefrau said...

I know that the words "bathing suit" might not sound promising, but...if your foot injury is preventing walking, have you thought of water aerobics? Any gym with a pool will have a class, and you might be surprised at how enjoyable it is. If you can take the deep breath and make it from the locker room door into the pool, you might find it a great cardio alternative when the treadmill is too painful.

And of course, remember that the blog isn't about progress, it's about the process. And that process includes frustration.

8:46 AM, July 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there Sean! You are doing a great job! I'm glad to hear your candid honesty about being frustrated. I'm actually glad that you don't have a scale to be checking on every day. Too often we feel really good about our diet/exercise and then we step on the scale and the numbers don't reflect how we feel. The scale ends up determining your happiness. Instead go by the feel of your clothes and how much better you are feeling. Vent whenever you want to. That's what we are here for, and it will make you feel better. I'd be completely envious and questioning your honesty if you never blogged about having a bad day during this journey, because it ain't easy :) Keep it up and know that we are here for you.


3:00 PM, July 12, 2006  
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